Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize