Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
