So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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