Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
