Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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