make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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