Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize