i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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