holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
