I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
