I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
