The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
