After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why did my mother make you get naked?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
