Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize