im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize