i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
