so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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