halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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