Whod you bang
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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