The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
