i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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