Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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