He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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