i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
