i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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