I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
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This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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