I puked a lego.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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