She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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