I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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