I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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