Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my poor anus
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
