The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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