dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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