Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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