My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
