Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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