I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
