Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
where are my eyebrows?
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