just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
