and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize