Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
