So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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