rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
