Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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