turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
