i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
