Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
True college students do jello shots in the library
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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