I cockslap morals
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
