I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
