Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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