you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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