wanna go halves on a baby?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
