Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
