in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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