i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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