its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
