The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
