she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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