she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
