My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
