It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
