Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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