Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
