why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
