So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
